Boys...

Never leave home without your rubbers...

If you ask us...

what a bitch...

Today's main eventers are tomorrow's jobbers

The way it was.
The way it should be.

Roll of quarters in your pocket

We got next.

Breaking news...

We've just received reports that this man is cool, cocky, and indeed bad. Please be advised.

For what it's worth...

Okay so the movie's bad, but is it just us or does Hulk Hogan look like he's hungry for some cake here instead of looking like a bad ass in this movie poster? I mean seriously, he looks like Mr. Stay Puft.

Too cool?

Yeah, seriously. We can't take any more.

99 Problems but a bitch ain't one

Ring ring.

Hi Sharmelle, it's Kwee Wee

Who?

Kwee Wee remember you used to manage me in WCW under the
name Paisley?

[Click]

Hello?

Sensitive Ponytail Man

It's unclear if the Bears will win this Sunday, however, it's very clear that Steve "Mongo" McMichael brought nothing to the table as a member of the Four Horseman. Okay - we take that back, he wore one hell of a pair of nuthuggers.

Ode to Ole

And another thing, Ole couldn't even keep his eyes open during a picture nevermind cutting a promo! Who are you pointing at anyway?

Double A

Not for nothing, but this guy's been milking Ric Flair's tit since 1993. Seriously, what has he done?

Who's Next!?!? Who Cares!??!

What has no mic skills?? no wrestling ability?? and was last seen teaming with a Stormtrooper from Graceland!??!

Hey, look on the bright side...

Vince screwed all of us after he bought WCW...

1994 called...

...they want their gimmick and Brandon Lee's dignity back

Big Red Machine

Hey Kid! goodluck "doing it" with someone from the opposite sex!

Mental Music Video, Vol. 2

Beautiful - lyrics by James Blunt
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Tonight's forecast

Partly cloudy with a chance of Lance Storm

We liked you better...

When you were called Lex Luger

Countdown Begins.

61 Days till WRESTLEMANIA!

You Can't See Me...

Um, unfortunately we can... please go away

Where's Virgil?!?!?

Why waste time with all these different titles and brand extensions.It's time we bring back the only belt that really matters..Oh and just for the record, even Stone Cold had a price for the Million Dollar Man AHAHAHA!! (DiBiase Laugh)

WrestleMania is predictable

here's our early stab at the lineup... on another note, what the fuck was this game about anyway?




cena vs. the undertaker vs. hbk
orton vs. edge
batista vs. kennedy
mickie james vs. victoria vs. who the fuck cares vs. another broad
booker vs benoit (yet again) or finley vs. booker (again for all you wcw fans out there)
haas and benjamin (obvious eventual tag champs) vs carlito and super crazy
flair and rhodes vs. dykstra and another washed up legend (we can only hope)
add your matches to this list ... predictable developments are on-going...

Nobody puts baby in a corner...

Stop keeping him in the back... unleash Dusty...now!

If Marty Jannety can be welcomed back...

...so can a real legend! Bring Macho Man back in '07.... oh yeah!

If We Had a Say...

We'd say fuck Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista and give people a match everyone wants to see .... Corey vs. Corey in a No-Holds Barred match.

Sit and spin salute

Get the Special Edition DVD of "The Marine" tomorrow... it's uncut and still unwatchable.

Ready to Rumble?

Let's get ready to... watch Martin Landau lose credibility forever.

Schmecklemania 2007

Andre the Giant vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin

Because wrestling is terrible, we've decided to announce a different match each week for our very first SchmeckleMania. The first match pits a giant against an icon. Let's try and see Stone Cold stun Andre's giant ass.

Softcore porn

Get your hardcore ass tossed off a Hell in a Cell is one thing, offer "The King" Harley Race a beer wearing a pooh bear shirt, well thats a different story..

Same Results

Told you it was going to suck....

Word Life.

We thought the XFL and Mae Young's "birth to a hand" was a better idea than this..

Sorry, but...

Let's face it - there's still only one WWF, and it's not you guys.

Latina Heat

What were you thinking Vince ?!?!??! (Part V)

Don't forget your rubbers..

We all had those Rubber figures back in the day and you know we all used magic marker on our Paul Orndorff to make him look like the Ultimate Warrior. On that note here is a Top Ten list of the figures that were never made:

-Brother Love

-Rene Goulet

-Lord Alfred Hayes

-"Dangerous" Danny Davis

-Lelani Kai

-Sgt. Slaughter

-Cousin Luke

-Paul Roma

-"The Natural" Butch Reed

-Jacques Rougeau

Hulk Still Rules

Isn't it great how every year roles around and the guy can be 70 yrs old but they still need Hulkster for 'mania to put the asses in the seats!

Will announce for food

Hi, My name's Tony. I like long walks on the beach, shuffleboard, and calling crappy matches. In my spare time, I yell "oh my goodness" and fold my hands in front of the camera. If you're interested, google me and someway, somehow, you'll find me or you can catch me every Tuesday night on "Howard Finkel's House of Tinkle."

Who's that girl?

Look, all we're saying is, if you could get us her number... that'd be totally awesome.

Turning Japanese (I Really Think So)

We hear there's an opening at WWE to be William Regal's personal assistant. Not for nothing, but that's the only place you flourished. Go for it! Do it for us. Do it for Japan. Do it for yourself.

THE ANGELS SOAR AGAIN

Move over Keibler! It's The Original Divas of the WWF

Hello My Name Is..

Our vote for best wrestling nickname of all-time goes to AWA mid-carder Jake "The Milkman" Millman. No offense to Mike Awesome but "The Fat Chick Thriller" would never have worked in Verne Gagne's backyard.

Same schtick, different day

Puppies is so 1999.

Royal Rumble Results..

The pay-per-view is going to suck!

The Rejected Face Push of the Week

Virgil

When your angle is that off a former man-slave freed from the clutches of a white supressor (Ted DiBiase), you'd think you're off to a good start. But when you're givin' candy-striped tights and have no personality beyond that, it all goes down hill rather quickly.

- thesportsjew

El Sid

Five reasons why we prefer Sid Fernandez to Sid Vicious

1. Sid Vicious didn't win a World Series with the Mets
2. Sid Fernandez didn't break his ankle in a wrestling ring.
3. Sid Vicious didn't throw left-handed.
4. Sid Fernandez never pretended to be a main eventer.
5. Sid Vicious' funky blond perm can't compare with Sid Fernandez's 80s man mullet.

It happens to the best of us...

Who's having a bad hair day?

Mourning Bam Bam

We wonder if Sir Oliver Humperdink is leading the investigation.

News brief...

We're pretty sure this is the Haiti Kid, and if it is, we miss you little guy. Small size but oh such big dreams...

Best Week Ever?

Not really, but stay positive our Native American friend.

What!?!

We said bring him back.